Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Chillin' at the Roast of Gill Montie

Gill "The Drill" Montie

The old timers, playing nice (ish)
Gill "The Drill" Montie Gets Roasted in Cleveland

by Mary D'Aloisio

Tough guys and tuff tattoos
Gill Montie had reason to sweat under his fedora  at the roast thrown after  the Cleveland Rocks Tattoo Convention Memorial Day weekend. Gill Montie's history in tattooing stretches back through the decades of tough tattooing and fast living and has earned both the title of someone you don't want to cross as much as  man to be respected and revered.    Lining up to smack him down were some of the heaviest hitters in tattooing--a laundry list of tough guy charm and old timer cynicism who love Gill Montie enough to poke some fun at his expense. Roastmaster Lyle Tuttle rocked his legendary gold roasting vest and sharpened his tongue on a glass of grapefruit juice and tequila with a room full of people sweating their brains out to have a good time with the kings of good time.
Last meal before the roast

 On stage, the lineup of folks assembled resembled a tattoo family portrait of the last supper.  Lyle Tuttle led roasters and friends Crazy Philadelphia Eddie, Eric Foemmel, Marshall Bennett, Edward Lee,  Tyler Fyre, Bob Tyrrell, and host John Artist through one of the hands down hottest roasts in tattoo  history. The introductions were made and drinks were delivered, and Lyle Tuttle sat the man of the evening on his right hand side. 

"He was just bragging to me in the bar, he just earned his white wings. Use your imagination folks." chidded Tuttle, and announced the Detroit Stadium would be holding a gathering of Gill Montie's ex-wives next year.

Eric kept a good eye on Eddie; no one was shot.
Crazy Philadelphia Eddie  double fisted his drinks and unloaded his pistol of wit frequently, at one point added "Nothin's changed Lyle Tuttle's still fucking things up."

"Gill learned about his sex through trial and error. In fact one of his trials is still going and for one of his 'heirs'." roasted Tuttle.

Roast Master Lyle Tuttle
The evening got off to a rough start for the venue, and the air conditioning's non-existence didn't help  the chaos and the microphones needed adjusting. Once the technical difficulties were somewhat overcome, the roasting began with  side show sensation sword swallower and fire breather Tyler Fyre.

 Fyre started the roast off with a lovely story of a night in Texas with Gill-- the details are a bit graphic but the punchline "I know what you mean kid, I'm sore too-- I lost that hot dog five bars ago." will go down in history as the dirtiest story ever told.  "I love this guy--always have, always will." said Fyre "He's an all around great guy, he is the tattooed pirate, Mr.Tattoo Mania, he is a legend."

"I lost that hot dog 4 bars ago!"
Edward Lee contributed his take "I love Gill's work. I've loved it for a long time, I studied his skulls extensively. Then I realized they were anatomically incorrect. Yeah, the eyes are incorrect, they're bulging. Turns out they're looking at a girl.  I actually like this guy, when he's not being a big asshole." 

Marshall Bennett made his short and sweet "It smells like a nursing home in here"

"Nothin's changed Lyle Tuttle's still fucking things up" Eddie
"But I'll get right to Gill.  I've known about him forever, I heard all about his legend, and I finally got to meet him and... man what a letdown. " he laughed. "Seriously though, I've got mad respect for you, thank you."

Want some, get some.
Writer Eric Foemmel went next, and being Gill Montie's as well as Philadelphia Eddie's ghost writer, "People always ask what it's like working with Gill, I say yeah, it's bad ass.  I mean look up the definition of bad ass and it isn't Gill's picture--it's his mug shot." chuckled Foemmel."I've been writing his book, and I have to show him everything I do and he  says 'No you gotta take that out, that's a little sensitive' 'Nope that'll incriminate me.' 'Take out that picture, that's gonna start a war'  -- I mean when we go to print that book is gonna be one page, but it will be a bestseller."

Double fisted?
Host John Artist got up and presented the Cleveland Rocks plaque for best overall female as well as plaque commemorating the roast to Gill Montie on behalf of the Cleveland Rocks convention and his partner Joseph Phillips. "I gotta be careful with Gill though, cuz he held me in his room for three hours with a pistol to my head telling me what I could and couldn't say."  Half-tossed and gushing with love for Gill, Artist passed the mic to Detroit legend and long-time friend BobTyrrell.
"He just earned his white wings. Use your imagination folks" Lyle on Eddie

Black and grey master and fellow Detroit tattooer Bob Tyrrell said "There's no girls here so I'm stuck with Gill this weekend. Gill you're my hero, Lyle, you're my hero too, I have to fucking say that. " Tyrrell made fun of the hand tattoo Gill put on his right hand and the ensuing scabs and Gill's high pitched pimp voice and then admitted how fond of the piece he is "It's one of the my favorite tattoos, I'm proud to have this. I love you and you're my hero. You're one of my favorite people and I fucking love you"

Handsome devil, Crazy Philadelphia Eddie
Marshall Bennett
The roasters wore Gill's hat and passed it likes jokes about herpes.  The crowd interjected an clapped as the night drew to a close. Gill got the last word on his roasters with  heartfelt gratitude  "Thank you so much.  Just to be a part of this world, to be recognized by all of this is pretty special to me."  said Gill Montie. "How lucky can we be to have all this in our lives, right? What a fine bunch of men, I'm very humbled. Thank you  guys."

Philadelphia Eddie and BobTyrell

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