Gill "The Drill" Montie |
The old timers, playing nice (ish) |
Gill "The Drill" Montie Gets Roasted in Cleveland
by Mary D'Aloisio
Tough guys and tuff tattoos |
Gill Montie had reason to sweat under his fedora at the roast thrown after the Cleveland Rocks Tattoo Convention Memorial
Day weekend. Gill Montie's history in tattooing stretches back through the
decades of tough tattooing and fast living and has earned both the title of
someone you don't want to cross as much as
man to be respected and revered.
Lining up to smack him down were some of the heaviest hitters in
tattooing--a laundry list of tough guy charm and old timer cynicism who love Gill
Montie enough to poke some fun at his expense. Roastmaster Lyle Tuttle rocked
his legendary gold roasting vest and sharpened his tongue on a glass of
grapefruit juice and tequila with a room full of people sweating their brains
out to have a good time with the kings of good
time.
Last meal before the roast |
On stage, the lineup of
folks assembled resembled a tattoo family portrait of the last supper. Lyle Tuttle led roasters and friends Crazy
Philadelphia Eddie, Eric Foemmel, Marshall Bennett, Edward Lee, Tyler Fyre, Bob Tyrrell, and host John Artist
through one of the hands down hottest roasts in tattoo history. The introductions were made and
drinks were delivered, and Lyle Tuttle sat the man of the evening on his right
hand side.
"He was just bragging to me in the bar, he just earned
his white wings. Use your imagination folks." chidded Tuttle, and
announced the Detroit Stadium would be holding a gathering of Gill Montie's
ex-wives next year.
Eric kept a good eye on Eddie; no one was shot. |
Crazy Philadelphia Eddie
double fisted his drinks and unloaded his pistol of wit frequently, at
one point added "Nothin's changed Lyle Tuttle's still fucking things
up."
"Gill learned about his sex through trial and error. In
fact one of his trials is still going and for one of his 'heirs'." roasted
Tuttle.
Roast Master Lyle Tuttle |
The evening got off to a rough start for the venue, and the
air conditioning's non-existence didn't help
the chaos and the microphones needed adjusting. Once the technical
difficulties were somewhat overcome, the roasting began with side show sensation sword swallower and fire
breather Tyler Fyre.
Fyre started the
roast off with a lovely story of a night in Texas with Gill-- the details are a
bit graphic but the punchline "I know what you mean kid, I'm sore too-- I
lost that hot dog five bars ago." will go down in history as the dirtiest
story ever told. "I love this
guy--always have, always will." said Fyre "He's an all around great
guy, he is the tattooed pirate, Mr.Tattoo Mania, he is a legend."
"I lost that hot dog 4 bars ago!" |
Edward Lee contributed his take "I love Gill's work.
I've loved it for a long time, I studied his skulls extensively. Then I
realized they were anatomically incorrect. Yeah, the eyes are incorrect,
they're bulging. Turns out they're looking at a girl. I actually like this guy, when he's not being
a big asshole."
Marshall Bennett made his short and sweet "It smells
like a nursing home in here"
"Nothin's changed Lyle Tuttle's still fucking things up" Eddie |
"But I'll get right to Gill. I've known about him forever, I heard all
about his legend, and I finally got to meet him and... man what a letdown.
" he laughed. "Seriously though, I've got mad respect for you, thank
you."
Want some, get some. |
Writer Eric Foemmel went next, and being Gill Montie's as
well as Philadelphia Eddie's ghost writer, "People always ask what it's
like working with Gill, I say yeah, it's bad ass. I mean look up the definition of bad ass and
it isn't Gill's picture--it's his mug shot." chuckled Foemmel."I've
been writing his book, and I have to show him everything I do and he says 'No you gotta take that out, that's a
little sensitive' 'Nope that'll incriminate me.' 'Take out that picture, that's
gonna start a war' -- I mean when we go
to print that book is gonna be one page, but it will be a bestseller."
Double fisted? |
Host John Artist got up and presented the Cleveland Rocks
plaque for best overall female as well as plaque commemorating the roast to Gill
Montie on behalf of the Cleveland Rocks convention and his partner Joseph
Phillips. "I gotta be careful with Gill though, cuz he held me in his room
for three hours with a pistol to my head telling me what I could and couldn't
say." Half-tossed and gushing with
love for Gill, Artist passed the mic to Detroit legend and long-time friend
BobTyrrell.
"He just earned his white wings. Use your imagination folks" Lyle on Eddie |
Black and grey master and fellow Detroit tattooer Bob Tyrrell
said "There's no girls here so I'm stuck with Gill this weekend. Gill
you're my hero, Lyle, you're my hero too, I have to fucking say that. " Tyrrell
made fun of the hand tattoo Gill put on his right hand and the ensuing scabs
and Gill's high pitched pimp voice and then admitted how fond of the piece he
is "It's one of the my favorite tattoos, I'm proud to have this. I love
you and you're my hero. You're one of my favorite people and I fucking love
you"
Handsome devil, Crazy Philadelphia Eddie |
Marshall Bennett |
The roasters wore Gill's hat and passed it likes jokes about
herpes. The crowd interjected an clapped
as the night drew to a close. Gill got the last word on his roasters with heartfelt gratitude "Thank you so much. Just to be a part of this world, to be
recognized by all of this is pretty special to me." said Gill Montie. "How lucky can we be
to have all this in our lives, right? What a fine bunch of men, I'm very
humbled. Thank you guys."
Philadelphia Eddie and BobTyrell |
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